Going Through Changes

After the feedback I received from the presentations at the end of last term, I've made some fairly big changes to the script. The story is fairly different now, but is definitely more suited to the 6 minute length, the original script was in danger of turning into a feature film!
In this version of the script, Dr Tipler is running a business to send people back in time to eliminate past regrets, for a small fee! Roger goes to visit him, we join them mid conversation as they’re discussing Roger’s regret, so we’re not entirely sure of what it is. Roger discusses it ambiguously but with enough detail for us to piece together a vague idea of what it was he’s done. Then, just as the Professor is about to pull the trigger to send Roger back in time, another Roger runs through the door, all battered and beaten up, a little worse for wear, and screams at Roger “Don’t do it! You’re making a big mistake!”, just as the trigger has been pulled and Roger disappears.
I'm in the process of scripting this out now, I have a first draft, the bare bones of the scene, so just need to flesh it out a bit. As the original time travel scene took around 4 minutes, I think this will fit nicely into 6.